James Husum, Freelance Eccentric

Reader of Books, Thinker of Thoughts, Dreamer of Dreams

All about ME

The Basics

Age: 581 years
Eyes: two
Hair: not as much as I used to have
Weight: fortunately I'm patient
Height: and Seek
Sex: Just right

Interests:
origami, juggling, model languages, RPG's, writing, a site for science fiction tv fans, collecting strange noises, bits and pieces of just about everything else.

Other interesting facts:
I'm a Native Texan.

I'm on a quest to find the ultimate chocolate chip cookie.

I am Abbott for the Order of Levitators for the First Church of Mad Scientist.

I am trying to get a grant from the government to study Geo-Dairy Seismology.

I don't wear a digital watch since my last one was taken over by aliens. Although, I did start carrying an analog watch again. But I stopped carrying it because it kept breaking down and was costing more to fix it than the watch originally cost.

Some Theories I have:

I believe that trinary logic optical circuits are the way to go for the next major leap in computer technology. Don't ask me why. I just feel this is what should be done.

I also think the next major paradigm shift in software will be modeled after genetics or holography. Again, don't ask me why. This is just the way I feel things will go.

People keep walking up to me and saying they've met me before or know someone just like me. Usually I don't recall ever seeing these people before. Many of the people they say are like me seem to live in Oklahoma. I have a theory that there is an illegal clone factory of me somewhere in Oklahoma. It is important that I don't travel to Oklahoma. Should this happen, I may run into my clones and we would hit critical mass, and the world would blow up.

I don't believe that New Jersey exists. I think it is all just a conspiracy of the advertising media so they will have someone to make fun of without really offending anyone. Bruce Springsteen is one of their agents.

I believe that politics is based on the idea that other people think they can run my life better than I can. I also believe they are wrong.

I believe all things are possible - except for skiing through a revolving door.

My goals:

To obtain 400 acres of green, wooded land in the Texas hill country. Build a castle (designed to my specifications) on said land. Get paid $876,000 per year (preferably tax-free).

I want to hear Stairway to Heaven played on the bagpipes just once before I die.

When I die, I want my remains shot into Space to follow the same path the Voyager probe took around the Solar System, and then on out into the rest of the Universe.

To read the list of prizes on NPR's Sunday Puzzle.

To play 'Not My Job' on Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me! and win Carl Kasell's voice on the contestant's answering machine.

Why a Freelance Eccentric?

It all started back in a life/work planning course I took in college.
The professor asked everyone to determine their strengths and what type of job they might get using those strengths. After lots of soul-searching, I came up with an answer. The professor asked everyone for their answers during a class. After lots of standard, boring answers ('I work well with people. I want to get a job as a councillor')('I work well with computers. I want a job in data entry.') he asked me what I came up with. I told the professor that I want a job where I get paid a gross amount of money without actually having to do anything, much like Vanna White.

Basically, I want to get paid for being me. So, I've become a freelance eccentric. (At least until I get enough money to be a full-time eccentric.) Breaking this down we get

'freelance' -
a writer, actor, etc. who sells his services to individual buyers - and
'eccentric' -
odd; as in conduct, unconventional; off-center.

Keeping in this line of thought, I'll be eccentric for all those people out there that aren't interesting enough. The dull, the boring, the monotonous. For this service, I think I should get paid $876,000 per year. The money will go towards allowing me to be more eccentric, thus taking up more of the slack from all the mundane people out there. I feel this is a valuable and much needed service.

So, if you enjoy my site, sell everything you own and send all the money to me. I'll be glad you did. :-)

In this obnoxious day & age of Poltical Correctness, it is necessary to put a disclaimer in such documents, for those who cannot take responsibility for themselves and might get offended by something I might say. So, here is my disclaimer.

Disclaimer: Think for yourself!

And as Dick Cavett once said in a Saturday Night Live sketch, "But enough about me talking about me, let's hear what you have to say about me."

Here is where you learn more than you ever wanted to know about me - and probably some shtuff you didn't want to know.